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Joke of the Day

"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two newborns making out."

"Did you hear about the cow that doesn't give any milk? It's an udder disappointment."

"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."

"The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife."

"I'm a feminist A woman should be allowed to make a sandwich wherever she wants"

"What kind of bat hangs upside-down? An acrobat."

"If Jesus could walk on water and cucumbers are 96% water and I can walk on cucumbers does that mean the other 4% accounts for Jesus's dick?"

"What do you call four Mexicans that have drowned? Cuatro Cinco."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."

"Sledding with dad ""Dad, I will never ever go sledding with you again!"" ""Shut up and keep pulling, son."""