194862

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cow that doesn't give any milk? It's an udder disappointment."

"Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only cums once a year"

"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog."

"[At bar] Me: As a joke, I'm gonna pee my pants Wife: Seriously? You're a married man now M: Right...sorry. I'm gonna pee ""our"" pants #BT140"

"Damn girl, are you a desk? Cause I'm not exactly sure how to pick you up"

"If women want to be treated as equals to men, we're going to need to start seeing a lot more deadbeat moms and manizers."

"What do the films 'Titanic' and 'The Sixth Sense' have in common? Icy dead people."

"Twiter helps me keep my finger on the pulse of what today's youth is jazzing & vibing to. #hip #relevant"