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Joke of the Day

"Steven hawking is setting a bad example for kids these days... Being on his computer all day"

"Yo Mama so fat... Yo Mama so fat , you can see what's behind her !"

"I entered the word bit*h into my GPS and guess what, I'm in your driveway!!"

"I had a threesome planned for Valentines Day... There were a couple of no-shows, but I had a good time anyway."

"My wife accused me of being addicted to drinking brake fluid. I said I can stop any time I want."

"Everyday, I brush my teeth & say ""That's it. You can't squeeze anymore toothpaste out of this tube."" Then everyday, I do."

"Where is Wallace at? Where is his oscar nomination?"

"I accidentally hired a wordsmith instead of a locksmith and now my latched threshold has been compromised by a metallic puzzle solver."

"It's not a matter of WHEN the world will end... ...it's WHICH Applebee's you find out at."

"There is a time and a place for accosting people with baguettes (2 p.m., Whole Foods)."