202030

Joke of the Day

"You go to the ballet and you see girls dancing on their tiptoes. Why don't they just get taller girls?"

"This Independence Day please remember that fireworks are not a toy, they are meant to be aimed at the nearest British ship."

"why did the chicken head cross the road? to ghetto the other side..."

"What is very big, gray, and just doesn't matter? An irrelephant."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? We shot the only one with a dream."

"That awkward moment when someone adds you on Facebook, but never says hi in real life."

"""Sorry but It's me or the label maker."" [takes GIRLFRIEND label off her shirt] ""Thank y-"" [sticks on a label that says EX-GIRLFRIEND]"

"God: But if you use your sting you will die. Bee: That will teach us not to abuse our power. How did the wasps take that news? God: Err..."

"Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer? Ben Carsonogen"

"What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis? Bob."