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Joke of the Day
"I actually like the smell of hospitals.. Does that make me a sick person?"
Next Joke
"[waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! ""What'll it be?"" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan"
"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall... ...As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."
"What do you call a fat Taylor Swift? Taylor not so Swift"
"What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading? He gives it an F5"
"[first date] ""I learned to crochet in prison... Now you say something."""
"How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how clumsy you are. *There, I've killed it. Move on /r/jokes, move on.*"
"Due to its location South Africa doesn't experience full tide or low tide... it has apartheid."
"Ellen Degeneres died today... ... they found her face down in Rosie O'Donnell."
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped."