59698

Joke of the Day

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall... ...As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"Feminism! Q: How many feminists does it take to change a baby's diaper? A: Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything. And besides, where would they find a baby!"

"What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback."

"I tried to convert to Judaism, but they rejected me when they found out I was uncircumcised. I guess I just didn't make the cut."

"What stops your hair from falling? The floor"

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count"

"Dang you got a good deal on your tattoo and the squirrel's so realistic. What? A portrait of your Mom? Dude I wish my Mom was a squirrel."

"Did you hear about the Chelsea team without a player? No Mata!!"

"Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle."

"If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are."