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Joke of the Day

"How to lose an argument with an idiot - 1 Argue."

"If Microwaves were people... They would be your one friend who always runs into something or knocks something down when you're trying to sneak into the house at 3 am."

"Apparently the meteor passed within 17,000 miles of the planet last night. Nearly as far away as my wife parks from the kerb."

"What do you call a wandering caveman? A Meanderthal."

"An asteroid 1,200 light years away has a 0.6% chance of colliding with the Earth, and you all just walking around like everything is fine."

"Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset? Because you didn't ask him what band he's in."

"A dentist recently had to pull some teeth The pain was bad enough, but when they told me I would have to drink directly from the glass for a whole day, that was the last straw."

"In A Error At 99% Completed Understanding A Girl: . . . This Is Like Downloading A 4GB File. At The Speed Of 2kbps. Which Ends Up.. In A Error At 99% Completed!"

"What would an employee only entrance to a brothel be called in Westeros? A Hodor..."

"How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business."