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Joke of the Day

"In A Error At 99% Completed Understanding A Girl: . . . This Is Like Downloading A 4GB File. At The Speed Of 2kbps. Which Ends Up.. In A Error At 99% Completed!"

"What's the difference between Bill Cosby and Lena Dunham? Lena Dunham wrote the book about it."

"One. How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way."

"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he will eat for a week."

"What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land? A MEATing of the minds!"

"My mom just got out of rehab for her knees Knee addiction is tough, it's one of the toughest habits to kick"

"Boss ""Are you high?"" Me ""If I was high could I do this?"" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"""

"Me: Hi, officer. I saw you coming up the driveway. Cop: (sadly) Your son has been in an accident. Me: I FLUSHED ALL MY DRUGS FOR THAT?!"

"How do you say Philippines in Ebonics? Colombia"