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Joke of the Day

"If Microwaves were people... They would be your one friend who always runs into something or knocks something down when you're trying to sneak into the house at 3 am."

"Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk."

"Did you guys hear about what Nelly thought? She thought chicken manure was jelly."

"Have you heard about McDonald's new Hillary Clinton Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

"Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'"

"FOR SALE: Faulty Guitar. No strings attached."

"I like my coffee black... like it's waiting for it's welfare check."

"What is the greatest dilemma for a Jewish mother? She learns her son is gay, but he's dating a doctor."

"Dis'se I've contracted a disease."

"I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY GOES in one ear and out the other."