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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a horny guy in a pool? Driftwood"

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"Why should you slow down to let another car move into your lane? good karma."
"If your name is Sullivan, you've got a good name, but if you go by your nickname you've Sully'd your good name"
"WIFE: would you chop these onions for me ME: sure WIFE: I meant with a knife ME (tightening the belt on my karate robe): aww man"
"How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair? You flip it upside down."
"Did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!"
"What do gay Japanese jocks give each other? Brojobs."
"My favorite hobby is pretending to be surprised when my credit card is declined."
"I have no business with you, unless behind the bushes."
"My wife doesn't like communism jokes. I capitalize on'em."