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Joke of the Day

"My wife doesn't like communism jokes. I capitalize on'em."

"I watched a documentary on hallucinogenic drugs yesterday. It's a good way to watch a documentary."

"What do you call a stupid arachnid? A spiDUUUUUUUR"

"I got caught sniffing underwear... I got caught sniffing my friend's sister's underwear the other day, What made it worse was she was still wearing them, Made the rest of her funeral really awkward."

"Instead of sending an ""e-card,"" why not swing by & fart in my mouth?"

"Are limericks still in? There once was a genie with a 10 foot wienie so he showed it to the woman next door she thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it is 5foot 4"

"Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty to the charge of premeditated murder Frankly I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."

"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"

"A vegan in the woods. If a vegan is alone in the woods with nobody to tell, are they still a vegan?"

"What do you call a fat female host of a talk radio show about fishing? A broadcasting broad casting broad."