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Joke of the Day
"The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
Next Joke
"I saw a clown doing sit-ups. Funny how things work out."
"Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you've done for me! I don't know how I'll ever repay you."
"ME: What tattoo should I get? TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please."
"I chew gum when I get sad It helps chew me up"
"Today has me remembering my father's last words... Be right back."
"What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue."
"Undressing with the curtains open is my little way of giving back to the old ladies in our neighborhood watch."
"[first date] Me: You into role playing? Her: Kinky, what do you have in mind? Me: You fake a heart attack and we get our meal for free."
"How was it possible that the three bears had porridge all at different temperatures? Someone is lying."