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Joke of the Day

"[first date] Me: You into role playing? Her: Kinky, what do you have in mind? Me: You fake a heart attack and we get our meal for free."

"Son, here is a photo of a naked lady. Please identify the following parts: beanplug, malm, The Crow's Eye, underback, velveeta, DataZone"

"I bet the butcher he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf, but he saidthe steaks were too high."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"When you're on a diet everything smells like cookies. Except the guy beside me on the city bus. He smells like sardines Delicious sardines"

"I saw a black man running from a shop with a turntable, amplifier and speakers under his arm being chased by a security guard. Talk about stereotypes."

"Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard..... Pillow fight"

"Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?"

"Why is hip hop popular among urban youth? because it's the only time a black man can tell a crowd of white people to put their hands in the air."

"What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop? A Shatbook."