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Joke of the Day

"[looking at an old pic of me and my wife in college] Me: Wow, you used to be hot Wife: *death glare* Me: ...but not as hot as you are now"

"Why aren't there any black people in the Air Force? They're still afraid of hangars."

"Q: Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise? A: It was all-oink-lusive."

"What's a feminists favourite type of math? triggernometry"

"What did one archeologist say to the other archeologist when he screwed up? I've got a bone to pick with you"

"im tired of things costing money"

"Women don't deserve to be paid as much as men and should stay in the kitchen. I'd go on, but that's the misogyngist of it."

"Be more like Christ they said... Be more like Christ they said, so I became Jewish."

"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking in tents!"

"How do you say genius sarcastically? Apple genius."