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Joke of the Day

"im tired of things costing money"

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"What does it taste like to go down on a little old lady? Depends"
"Why did Kevin's Ice cream fall down? Because he was hit by a truck"
"What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut will fuck everybody in the room a bitch will fuck everybody in the room, except for you."
"Sitting on the porch late one night. A fox steals up and settles quietly next to me. Pearl divers don't hold their breath as long as I do."
"I bet if that Malaysian plane had stolen tweets, some of you guys would've found it already."
"2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same. They had a Tutankhamen."
"How to keep the flies off the bride at an Italian wedding Keep a bucket of shit next to her"
"shows up late for first day of new job *blames it on rush hour* shows up late for second day of new job *blames it on rush hour 2*"
"What do you call a chinese guy with a long penis? Long Wang... or nonexistent whatever you prefer"