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Joke of the Day

"As I was looking at some apartments I saw a parking area with the sign,""Tenant Parking."" But what happens if there are more than ten ants?"

"Two guys walk into a bar The first one asks for h20. The second on asks for h20 too. The second guy dies."

"Thanks to the internet I know the actual medical terms for all the ailments that I'm positive I'm dying from."

"You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."

"How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb? How many did it take last year?"

"I like my jokes like I like my sex life... ... quick and unsatisfying."

"I hate when Doctors asks questions like . . . ""Are you sexually active?"" Depends on what you mean by ""active"". There are plenty of ""active"" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years."

"There's probably only 7 people on earth who actually know what they're doing during the whole smelling, swirling and sipping wine thing."

"What's the difference between fight club and veganism? You don't talk about fight club."

"Is there something about me that suggests I want to hear about your smoothie cleanse, because I can change."