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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to the internet I know the actual medical terms for all the ailments that I'm positive I'm dying from."

"[puts puppy in microwave] [googles instructions for making hotdogs] [quickly releases puppy from microwave]"

"Why is the rear end of a boat so tough? It's made of stern stuff."

"So a limbo champion walks into a bar.. he was disqualified from the limbo competition."

"This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle"

"Q: Have you seen the new Barbie Doctor doll? A: You wind her up, and she operates on batteries."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who know binary, and those who don't."

"Keep yelling ""dance!"" and shooting at my feet, tough guy. I studied tap for 9 years and you're going to look like an idiot."

"Miss Piggy can be a such a hamful to deal with"

"Being a baker is a great side-job... ...especially when I knead the dough."