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Joke of the Day

"Two guys walk into a bar The first one asks for h20. The second on asks for h20 too. The second guy dies."

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"

"What do you get when you combine human DNA with a goats? kicked out of the petting zoo..."

"Bill Clinton must be the luckiest man in the world. All of the sex he has, with Hillary, you know it's hate sex."

"Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff? So in the end they didn't even splatter."

"Why do I see so many broken condoms outside? Honey, those are called ""children"" and should be treated as such."

"Why did the clothing store close? The employees where slacking off."

"One ply toilet paper. Get in touch with your inner self."

"I bet Abe Lincoln only paid with $5 bills then as the cashier's face lit up, he'd smugly grin ""yep."""

"TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich Oops, wrong sub"