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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR: ""I'm calling to notify you of your outstanding balance."" ME: ""Thanks! I do yoga."" DOCTOR:........"

"Two nuns are discussing their love lives.. when one nun asks the other, ""So, do you ever start smoking after sex?"" The other nun replies, ""I don't know, I've never looked."""

"Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive- Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"

"My mom woke up early every morning to cut the crusts off my sandwiches for lunch at school. She knew the crusts were my favorite part. She hated me so much."

"If I get bit by a vampire at this age, I'm going to be furious."

"Interesting Fact: By the year 2020 all actors on American TV shows will be Australian."

"Why did the blind lady fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well."

"I only speak Spanish when bill collectors call"

"Ebola Fun Fact Before the internet was invented Ebola was just known as Bola wakka wakka"

"Why are the Panama Leaks so important, anyways? I mean that canal fucking sucks, so who cares."