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Joke of the Day

"What's an Australian kiss? The same thing as a French kiss, except it's Down Under."

"What were those two people from VeggieTales? Oh yea, Barrackoli and Cucumberbatch."

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"Why did the football go to the bank? to get is quarterback."

"1. Sits in the bedroom 2. Doesn't leave the house 3. Doesn't go out with freinds My childhood punishments are my adult hobies "

"Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse? - A: Catch."

"Why did the pig walk into the kitchen? Because he felt like bacon. :P"

"I was always told by my father to fight fire with fire... ...And that's how he got kicked out of the fire brigade."

"I have reliable inside information about Apple's next product. I will not be able to afford it."

"The doctor told me I should stop masturbating today. So I look him straight in the eye and asked him ""why?"". And then he said something about not being able to work in these conditions."