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Joke of the Day

"I have reliable inside information about Apple's next product. I will not be able to afford it."

"There once were three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."

"I wanted to make friends but I had no facebook So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank. Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist"

"Congratulations on ""obtaining"" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge."

"Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again."

"Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts."

"I caught two teens smoking pot behind my office. Ten minutes later, my boss caught two teens and myself smoking pot behind my office."

"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."

"Why is outer space so cold? All the space heaters are on earth!"

"Never ask a shepherd how many sheep he owns, I don't think he'd know, he probably falls asleep every time he takes inventory."