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Joke of the Day

"I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes. It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"Did you hear about that fire at the circus?! I heard it was in tents!"

"The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)... ...As in I wish to bury my dick in your son."

"Apparently the norwegian government pays for you to hire convicts I guess there are some pro's to hirin a con."

"""I had to keep a straight face."" -my bi friend who's in the closet."

"There are 3 types of people in this world. 1. People who are good in math. 2. People who aren't good in math."

"""It's going to be amazing!"" No, it's not."

"Sat down to donate blood the other day Nurse: Just a little prick. Me: How'd you know?"

"[Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast"

"Yelp is a fun game where you try to guess between whether a restaurant is bad or a reviewer is crazy."