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Joke of the Day

".@cocacola i tried to give a coke bottle to a polar bear. he did not accept. also he took my son. i need my son back"

"What do you call a preacher with an erection? A firm believer"

"Pavlov's cats rule, Pavlov's dogs drool."

"What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love? ""You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!"""

"Two Nuns are Bike Riding Through Town... One looks to the other, says, ""I've never came this way before!"", to which she replies ""Yeah I know! It's gotta be the cobblestones."""

"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person... ...and that person drinks a lot."

"Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses."

"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!"

"A friend if mine asked me what will I do tomorrow... I told him I have to go on HIV test and then he replied, Oh shit... I am sure you can do it... stay positive!"

"-Boss: ""Send me one of your funny tweets"" -Me: ""I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later"" -Boss: ""Hahaha! Send me another one."""