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Joke of the Day

"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person... ...and that person drinks a lot."

"I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants."

"How was the Redditor with only one karma upvote able to look like he had five karma upvotes? He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!"

"Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market? He was caught taking a leek."

"*gets down on one knee* Wow, you really suck. Why can't you be more like the other knee?"

"Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam."

"My friend from Hollywood always told me, ""Shoot for the stars."" He was an assassin."

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's? No tres passing"

"Tweets got stolen. * Everybody looks at the new black dude following *"

"I like my men like I like my pizza With extra sausage ( )"