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Joke of the Day

"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."

"I'm 34 and live with my mom. Just kidding... ... I'm 33."

"It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late."

"A black man walks into a bar his cell door was still closed."

"Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk."

"The two minutes silence in Tesco was so well-observed you could hear a pin drop. Then my poppy fell off too."

"You can tell A LOT about a Woman's mood just by looking at her hands... ...for example...If she's holding a gun? She's probably pissed."

"If I had a nickel for every time my pants have fallen down from carrying around too many nickles."

"Some jokes on Mexicans can be funny, but a lot of the times they cross the border. ^^^^^OC ^^^^^but ^^^^^rephrased"

"Van Gogh hands a wrapped up box to his girlfriend. ""Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."" ""What?"""