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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to grill something good for watching today's horse race But my butcher didn't have any Belmont steaks"

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. ... Wait."

"What did the Jewish father say when his daughter asked for fifty bucks? What are you going to spend forty dollars on, I mean really why do you need thirty dollars?"

"What do you call a professional tennis player that keeps serving out? Novak Chokeovic"

"God made us all different. But when He got to China He thought...to hell with it... Copy, paste, copy, paste"

"What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans. I'll be here all week."

"A cashier asks a feminist, "" Cash or credit?"" She replies: "" Did you just assume my tender?"""

"The 'g' in 'contains 100% angus beef'... is the different between a great steak, and a hot dog."

"Which came first. . . social media or dumb people? AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language?"

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off."