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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to grill something good for watching today's horse race But my butcher didn't have any Belmont steaks"

"What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ? 0mg !!!!"

"the average goat is 9 carrots tall if you measure goats in carrots"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"

"Went to WalMart today and still had all my kids when I got home. Next week, I'll try harder."

"Breaking up with Japanese Girls. I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it."

"Never tell a woman you're infatuated with her. All she'll hear is ""fat""."

"I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!"

"I just found out that blackbirds aren't afraid of squirrels and now I'm afraid of blackbirds."

"What's brown and sticky? Shit"