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Joke of the Day

"A good lawyer, Santa Claus, and an honest politician enter an elevator. They see a five dollar bill on the ground. Who picks it up? Santa. The other two don't exist."

"A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, ""what would you like on it?"" to which he replied,""Make me one with everything""."

"The more we ban gluten, the black market demand for it skyrockets and the Mexican gluten cartels make a killing."

"Sex with an optometrist can be so tedious... ""better this way or that way? This way or that way? This way or that way? ..."""

"What do you call an Italian man with Parkinson's? A stutterer."

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"What do you call an affectionate island? Isle of view"

"I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012.... It's called Mayanaisse...."

"A sad man walks into a Coca-Cola carbonation factory... But he leaves because it was just soda pressing."