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Joke of the Day

"When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time. Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room."

"Usually, my rule for drinking is ""one & done"". But with tequila... it's ""Juan & Don""."

"How do you make holy water? Fill a container and boil the hell out of it"

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"He's street smart. Sesame Street smart."

"Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')"

"A guy just came into this restaurant by himself, ordered a plate of olives, ate them, and left. If you see something, say something."

"A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks ""Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"" Papa is surprised and asks ""20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?"""

"I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems."

"My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he's finished your face is full of short cuts."