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Joke of the Day

"Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask? You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth."

"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."

"Since women are shorter....are they more genetically suited to scrub the toilet? funny or not"

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever."

"One thing you always pay full price for is other people's mistakes..."

"Man at the dog park: Who's a good girl? WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL???? Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*"

"Just thought of way to discourage teenage smoking. Instead of saying ""Cancer"" on boxes replace it with the word ""Acne""."

"I'm pretty sure the rule at Starbucks is the slowest employee makes the drinks"

"I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand."