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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked? A witch."

"I make bad jokes This is one of them."

"Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills"

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger."

"FARMER: you ok man? ME (from inside a well I fell into 3 days ago): all is well lol FARMER: lol ME: seriously though I think I broke my leg"

"I tried to do A minor once... But my fingers were to short to reach it on the keyboard"

"Customer: Why don't you eat here waiter? Waiter: Serving it is bad enough I don't want to compound the felony."

"By the way it was me who set those sheep free to roam around the courtroom during your divorce hearing. In case ewe were wandering."

"I wonder if clouds look down on us and say shit like ""That one's shaped like an idiot."""

"I got 9 inches last night, 8 inches today and 7 inches coming tonight. Obviously, Winter is happy to see me."