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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if clouds look down on us and say shit like ""That one's shaped like an idiot."""

"How is a girlfriend like a pronoun? Your's is possessive"

"Why do so many Jews enjoy smoking? The ashes reminds them of their parents."

"fyi it turns out you CAN get kicked out of Jimmy John's for calling the sprouts ""vegetable sperms"" live and learn I guess"

"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"

"Twitter birth control: airfare"

"Uses pic of car as profile pic. Gets hunted down by Decepticons."

"What would happen if a rodent were to crawl into, and die in, a piece of equipment made by Dell? ... it would create a fell Dell smell."

"I guess hookers are getting into the holiday spirit. I seen one today advertising pumpkin spice pussy."

"I'm 30 but I still feel like I'm 20 Until I hang out with 20 year olds Then I'm like no, never mind, I'm 30"