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Joke of the Day
"My cat just told me to stop talking during the movie. Maybe homemade psychedelics were a bad idea"
Next Joke
"Jack and the beanstalk Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow? Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker"
"I find my own face to be scary... But I guess that's just me"
"My top 5 exercises: -jumping to conclusions -flying off the handle -carrying things too far -dodging responsibilities -pushing my luck"
"I'm really good at writing palindromes where the 2nd half is gibberishhsirebbig si flah dn2 eht erehw semordnilap gnitirw ta doog yllaer m'I"
"Here's to honor!... Get honor, stay honor. If you can't come in her. Come honor."
"What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones? ""Attention Basingers"" hahaha"
"My finger broke through the toilet paper so I dunked my hand in liquid nitrogen and shattered it with a hammer."
"Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser"
"What did the necrophiliacs girlfriend say before going bowling?"