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Joke of the Day

"Hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs."

"Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune? Because the host gets confused when they say ""I'd to buy a vowel eh."""

"the most awkward time in my life Was when I locked my keys in my car and had to walk into the nearby abortion clinic to ask to borrow a coat hanger."

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? A pizza doesn't beg me to keep going when I'm eating it."

"Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them ""Get out. We don't serve your type here."""

"What do you call a Mexican who acts like a white person? A Juan-a-be"

"What's the square root of 69? ate something"

"Dark humor is like clean water... Not everyone gets some."

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket Was writing a Limerick but said, ""Fuck it."""

"If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like ""oh yeah this makes sense."""