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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked why I have a folder named ""dick pics"" I told him because nobody will open it and find my porn."

"What do you call a Spanish soccer player with no legs? Grassy-ass"

"Did you hear about the failed mission to Antarctica? Their journey went south."

"I text-ed my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."

"12 year old girls are an untapped market."

"I once tried eating a clock it was very time consuming"

"How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?"

"I was going to buy some classical music CDs... But I was too baroque."

"Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe? More doors."

"How do you kill a hipster? by drowning them in the mainstream"