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Joke of the Day

"Two cows are talking in a field. Two cows are in a field. One says, I'm not scared of mad cow disease'. The other says, Oh really, why not?'. The first replies, Because I'm a helicopter'."

"What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl? This is unacceptable."

"I robbed a cookery shop last night... to make it big you've got to take some whisks."

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagin_asian_"

"Surgeon: I'll be taking out your appendix today Me: [stomach rumbles] Surgeon: [puts stethoscope to my tummy] Appendix: I have a boyfriend"

"How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint? She released the video on pornhub. (Too soon?)"

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never, oh you knocked me down again, you are being very rude"

"Why did Beethoven kill off his chickens? They kept saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""

"How does Sean Connery shave? Control + S"

"What does an assassin do in the waiting room? He kills time. (I'll get the door after my appointment)"