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Joke of the Day

"When an ad says critics are ""raving"" over a movie, I picture them all in a dark warehouse twirling glowsticks & giving each other back rubs."

"A woman is like a parachute can refuse at any time, that's why you need to have a spare one."

"Just took one of those ""Which Movie Character Are You?"" quizzes and found out I'm the plastic bag from American Beauty."

"A prisoner said to me today ""Boss, I think my cellmate is a fag"" ""cos he closes his eyes when i kiss him goodnight"""

"Even if you don't have to poop, bathrooms are still a nice place to take your pants off and sit for a while."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a loaf of bread with a buffalo? A: A buffaloaf."

"Some dude just asked if I was ""herb friendly"". I told him I like basil and dill and he walked off. Guess he didn't have thyme to discuss it."

"My penis is only four inches But some girls like it that wide."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Dismembered"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm stalking her. Well, she's not my ""girlfriend."""