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Joke of the Day

"I know I need to lose weight when.. I ask my boyfriend ""do I look fat in these knickers ? "" and he says "" what knickers ?"""

"If you spend ""up to $9000"" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by."

"I made a huge mistake I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years."

"How to fall down the stairs * Step 1: * Step 2: * Step 4: * Step 17: * Step 35: And you're done!"

"Why didn't the skeleton make a good lawyer? All his work was pro bono."

"Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it ""The Pharaoh Rocher"""

"Biggest Jewish Dilemma? Free Bacon!!"

"Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad boy to join your crew."

"News reports say a Muslim hid several Jews in a freezer at the kosher market in Paris last week I guess the oven must have been broken"

"Why should you never high five someone in the gallows... Because they always leave you hang'n"