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Joke of the Day

"Obi-wan: These aren't the droids Stormtrooper: They look like them Obi: So all droids look the same to you? Trooper: No, I- Obi: Racist"

"Sorry I missed your funeral, but in my defense, you're not coming to mine."

"If I wore these clothes yesterday but no one saw me in them, did I really wear them."

"WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE SILENT TREATMENT?! ~me, drunk, at a wax museum"

"Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence."

"Today I found Jesus in my life. Let me tell you about him. He is tan with a thick black mustache, and eyes so brown they make your soul melt. He is my gardner, the best I have ever employed."

"Don't cry, that onion didn't deserve you anyways."

"Dogs are terrible hosts They get angry if you try to use their bathroom."

"Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots."

"What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it? A casket"