127062

Joke of the Day

"Some dude at ASU named Dean has me on his list. Honestly, I don't appreciate or understand it. Thinking about contacting the authorities."

"What ten letter word starts with g-a-s? Automobile."

"Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere"

"So this bloke said to me... He said "" I once got my dog to bring back a stick thrown 100 miles away"". I said ""that's a bit far-fetched"""

"A nice pick-up line I made up Hey are you from Brazil? Because I'm trying to score with you seven times."

"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"

"Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head."

"Boss: ""you're fired"" Me: ""I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree"""

"Friendly like talking"

"Why could the chef not cook a tree branch? Because he used a non-stick pan."