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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a pompous Hobbit? Bilbo Braggins"
Next Joke
"people: u should smile me: not unless u deposit 2 million dollars in my bank account thanks"
"I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*"
"Why is a Christmas tree like a bridegroom? After the big day, its balls are the first thing to come off."
"I'm always frank with my sexual partners. Don't want them knowing my real name."
"Wanna hear an embarrassing story about the time I forgot something important? I forgot the punchline. Sorry, I haven't been this embarrassed since that one time."
"What do you call a very cold vodka? Absolut Zero"
"I am trying to get some help for my PTSD... But it always seems to be one flash forward and then two flashbacks."
"Why did the physicist throw out his shag rug? He assumed the lawnmower was a vacuum"
"scared the postman i scared the postman today by showing up to the door completely naked. im not sure what scared him more, the fact that i was naked, or that i knew where he lived"