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Joke of the Day

"Hey, are you a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree? BIRCH I MIGHT BE"

"A friend of mine sold an old rifle he inherited from his German grandfather. The ad says: ""French-made rifle. From WW2. Never used. Only dropped once."""

"a peaceful man was so opposed to war that he upon reading his draft notice he passed out and remained comatose for the duration of the war he was an unconscientious objector"

"Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon? Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt..."

"What did Obama's dad say when his mom wanted anal? Well they don't call me ""Saddamy"" Hussein for nothing!"

"I can't wait to see the phrase ""He was the longest living member of the Baha Men"" in an obituary"

"I'd like to start today by telling you how wonderful (NAME) is. I'd like to but..."

"Do women know that it's perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?"

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""

"I woke up this morning wearing a red fuzzy wig, giant oversized shoes and a red nose. I think I must have slept funny."