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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend always likes to pretend to be 14 when we have sex... I don't know why, she'll be 14 in a couple years anyway."

"I don't know why I even bother having an iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline."

"Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken..."

"Why are feminists bad cashiers? They can't make change."

"I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying."

"My girlfriend's dad asked me how hard it is being a philosopher. It's quite easy to love your daughter."

"I hate my step ladder for not being my real ladder."

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I'm sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me."