204078

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's dad asked me how hard it is being a philosopher. It's quite easy to love your daughter."

"All we want is to get laid and for no one to touch our cell phones."

"I wrote a book titled: How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword. All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!"

"What is the most mind blowing state an indian can experience Nirvana"

"STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION."

"College guy: [massaging head] Oh man I got so trashed last night. Raccoon: [massaging stomach with his little raccoon paws] Me too man."

"So who WERE Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents, anyway? And why did they let them spend so much time with their insane, pantsless uncle?"

"A guy on the street just said ""nice feet"" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?"

"If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys."

"So I checked into a low class hotel I called the frontdesk and told him ""I got a leak in my sink,"" he said ""go ahead."""