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Joke of the Day

"I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn't like it. So I choose not to post it this time around Edit: Thanks for the 1000 upvotes this time guys! ( Edited when I only had 27)"

"My Boyfriend: Why are you so dramatic? Me: (Getting eaten by a lion)"

"My dad used to warn me about anal He said ""Son, this might hurt a bit."""

"Why are there no awards for excellence in betas? Because no one wants to be the master beta tester."

"How to change a baby: 1. Swap it out with a Labrador pup when no one's looking"

"I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino \ _()_/ "

"To my American friends: On Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. On Tuesday, try not to set your country back 50 years."

"one tectonic plated bumped into another... ""Sorry my fault"""

"One time I fell asleep on a pile of change. When I woke up, my face looked like Mount Rushmore. (This isn't so much a joke as just something that happened.)"