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Joke of the Day

"I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work."

"You can learn a lot about a person if you install a camera in their bedroom."

"What does a black person get for Christmas? Your bike."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... What, it could happen..."

"Jurassic Park I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""not only does my son have a stupid name, but hes also a shit driver"""

"I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company... My girlfriend recently dumped me and this ""No Tears"" stuff isn't working at all."

"What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk."

"What do you call a guy with rabbits up his arse/ass? Warren."

"Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ? Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy."

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"