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Joke of the Day

"""Did anyone else's house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices..........oh U2?"""

"Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers? The steaks were getting too damn high."

"What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore Arms."

"What did the depressed light switch say? I can't go on."

"Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner? Because it's shellfish."

"Bottom of the Class ""I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,"" said the father to his son. ""Don't worry Dad,"" he replied. ""They still teach the same thing at both ends."""

"After 12 years in prison ..... After 12 years in prison, a man finally breaks out. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, ""Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!"""

"Sobriety test Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter."

"As a large scale chicken farmer I raise hundreds of cocks everyday for a living."

"After the title ""The Fate of the Furious"", I just need next 2 movies to be titled Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious Fast10 : your seatbelt"