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Joke of the Day

"Sobriety test Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter."

"Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?"

"Have you heard about the billboard company who only did JPEG files? I heard they got a lot of stretch marks."

"THEM: Hey-- ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this. THEM: I just watched you say ""ring ring."" ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important."

"I'm tired of writing ""Sent from my iPhone"" at the end of all me e-mails, maybe I should just get an iPhone"

"Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women"

"99% of lawyers ... . . . give the rest of us a bad name."

"I can't believe the fired me at the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in."

"132 LEGS AND 8 TEETH Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!"

"If a transvestite goes missing... Should we put their picture on a carton of half and half?"