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Joke of the Day

"Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers? The steaks were getting too damn high."

"its shanksgiving, be thankful i havent stabbed u yet."

"My eyes are brown with tiny flecks of narcissism."

"What is better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"I don't have a mental problem, I have mental problems...plural."

"When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell ""Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"""

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus."

"Be Alert The world needs more lerts."

"I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship."

"Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to? Chopin"