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Joke of the Day

"What medical device helps people that are uncomfortable looking at male genitalia? A cockleer implant."

"VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him? VICTIM: That's Bart Simpson SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things"

"Why did the two tampons not talk to each other? because they're both stuck up cunts"

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"Here's an olive branch. Please choke on it."

"Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium. Little monster: Why not? Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache."

"How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? Not all men."

"If you're a guy and you shave your legs... you might aswell go all the way and shave your pussy."

"Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours wondering where he'd seen himself before?"

"How do you get honey from a graveyard? From a zombee! I'll see myself out"