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Joke of the Day
"I'd make an excellent cavewoman because I can finger paint and light fires."
Next Joke
"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."
"What's the worst part about going down on a vegan? They taste like chicken."
"Grandma got run over by a Prius. Grandma is fine. The Prius is totaled. And there's glitter and Obama stickers everywhere. Merica."
"How do you make exotic matter? By taking a shit in a rainforest!"
"Did you hear about the penis-less man that got excited? He just came out of nowhere"
"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."
"I'll never understand why news reporters think they have to stand out in the rain or snow just to tell us it's raining or snowing."
"What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor."
"TIL of Cunningham's Law It states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is to ask a question."